No Such Luck @ IAD

So its St. Paddy's day and one would hope to find luck while traveling. I haven't taken to the air and the adventure is already beginning, albeit I haven't seen too many lucky people just yet.
Let's start with Carlos. Now Carlos was Spanish, but hey everyone is a little bit of Irish today...or so I thought. Apparently Carlos hadn't had his bangers and mash today. He wasn't in as festive a mood as I was.
Carlos was my shuttle driver from Marriott to IAD. I tried to make light with him, but he remained silent...except for the "damn" which he muttered as he loaded my bags.
I arrive at IAD and the lady ahead of me had an unlucky encounter with TSA. I remember the days of traveling alone with an infant, but this woman was trying to pack a BabysRUs super store through security.

MAD WOMAN TRAVEL TIP:
If traveling with a child under the age of 2...you do not need a car seat, you do not need a stroller system, you do not need a giant diaper bag. Ladies, ladies, ladies...trust me...one experienced MAD Woman to others...all you need is a small umbrella stroller or kangaroo pak, a lot of benadryl for your child, a few diapers, and maybe a mini bottle of Jack for yourself. But seriously, all joking aside, there is no reason to pack your entire house for a short flight.

Moving on, I headed for the Z wing of IAD and to my unlucky surprise there was no green beer...just a Subway. Bummer.
When I asked the gate attendant if the flight to CLT was via prop plane she looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language, maybe Celtic. I looked back and proceeded to say, "you know the plane that's not a jet...the kind with propellers". I took both my arms and whirled them in the air. Luckily, before I thrust myself into flight around the waiting area, her 38 hrs of training must have returned to her.
"Oh...its a small express plane", she said.
"Well that answers my question", I thought, and I rolled my eyes as I walked away.
I proceeded to grab a sandwich at Subway. It was hot from the ovens; a for sure indication that I must be in Hell.
I took a seat in the waiting area and started people watching. It is just so entertaining. The Asian couple looked at me and sized me up from head to toe...I'm pretty sure they were dismayed that I was eating my sandwich "on the fly". I was scoffed at time and again for this in the EU.
The guy setting across from me was intensely reading a fitness magazine, but his "chicdar" was right on. What is chicdar you ask? Why it is a man's uncanny ability to read a magazine and only raise their head at attractive females that pass of course. Maybe it was just a timely crick in his neck, but I doubt it.
The girl setting behind me, back-to-back, shall forever be known as obnoxious. For some reason she found it appropriate to recline far enough to place her head on my shoulder. I decided to move closer to the old man who was talking about green beer, the roosters that woke him up in the morning, and trash trucks.
Perhaps the strangest and funniest moment was when I went to throw my sandwich wrapper away. I walked around what appeared to be the trash can...one circle, two circles...looked high, looked low..no hole. Hmmm. Was it a trash can? The girl setting near by looked at me and laughed. She was as confused as I was. Whatever it was, it wasn't a trash can. Too bad it wasn't a pot of gold.
Oh well...take off..perhaps there will be more luck on the other end. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry